Posts Tagged ‘family’

Stuck in the middle

What do you do when your two family members are not talking to each other? One person asks you about the other because whether one likes it or now she worries about the other. And you try to keep in touch with the other indirectly, and soon that manner of staying in touch is going to go away, and there is NO OTHER way to stay in touch? And you cannot stay in touch directly because somehow you two don’t correspond as well? How do you make sure that the person is okay? How do you know if she needs you? I guess if she needs you she will reach out to you, right? Whats the point of having an ego? You have ONE life, and you throw away precious years because of ego? What a shame and a waste. On ones deathbed ego does not factor, you only think of your loved ones and how you are going to miss them… what is the point of ego and stubbornness with family?

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My little sister was once my best friend. I used to boss her around, and she always gave me the scoop on my extended large family. She was so irritating and kept chatting away till I lost my cool. Whenever I cooked rotis (Indian bread) she talked so much and distracted me, so much so that my rotis were of different shapes and sizes, and my parents and brother used to pick and choose and say “this is the map of Africa”, “this is the map of America”, and so on. I used to yell at her, and she giggled and ran away. But I loved listening to her, and giving my opinion. She was adorable. I remember when she was born, I used to take soooooo much care of her. I loved her like anything.

Then she grew up and we started having sibling rivalry. She was still adorable, but now got all the attention. I, being the older one, was expected to be more understanding and sacrificing. But we were still best friends. We fought and made up all the time, and I still loved her like no other. Some of my love transferred to my brother who was so small and adorable, but my sister was still my best friend. We used to hide things from my mom and dad, and my brother played “Narad muni” and tattled on us to our parents. It was so much fun growing up. A great sense of humor runs in my family. My sister is so sensitive, and its funny because she tries to show that she is strong and a free bird, but deep down she is very sensitive, loving, and adorable. I have always been so fiercely protective of her.

Now my sister is completely grown up and a woman. I feel like staying apart for so long has driven us apart. In the first few years of moving to a different country, I was so busy with my life that I did not call her as frequently; and sometimes her birthdays were an after-thought. We took our relationship for granted. I met her after a couple of years, and realized that things have changed between us. We are no longer best friends, and I feel so disconnected with her. I guess that is what miles do to you. We no longer share that close connection, but I still have my special bond with her. I know that no matter what I will always be there for her, NO MATTER WHAT. I still love her deeply, and miss her terribly sometimes…

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