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Posts Tagged ‘parents’

I met my couple friends today for lunch, and had a wonderful time. They have two adorable kids – the older is very intelligent, and the younger too adorable for words. They are my fav couple – sophisticated & intelligent, and we have a lot in common except for the kids. Anyway, the situation called for disciplining the older kid who is almost 7 and wanted to eat sushi that very day at that exact time. Both of them dealt with the situation very patiently, and took a hard stand regardless of what the kid said and did. I liked their way of dealing, and was surprised at how patient they were.

We started discussing how we were raised – our parents beat us, as did teachers in school, and we turned out fine. Should we do the same to our kids so that they turn out fine? But beating kids is kind of illegal in the US. They were telling me how the kid behaves the opposite when they yell and gets more defensive, so yelling and beating is not the way to go — taking a hard stand patiently is the way to go. The more tantrums the kids throw, the less likely they are to get what they want and they forgo more perks such as TV and Internet. Its so hard to be a parent! The kid’s life depends on you, and sometimes your best efforts are misjudged and lead to nothing.

I used to get a lot of beatings at school. The nuns hit us with a wooden ruler on the calves which stung! Sometimes they went for knuckles which was brutal — I could take the calves any day over knuckles. Once my Mom came to visit us in our boarding school/hostel, and I was out so I saw her. She wanted to see my sister. It was after hours and the nun told me not to call my sis. Anyway, mom really wanted to just see her from far and see if she is okay, and kept telling me if I could just bring her out so she could see her, so I went to my sis’ dorm and called her out. My sis broke out sobbing — she wanted to meet my mom up close. So I took her and broke the rule. The nun beat me a lot for it, but whatever — they had made me immune to it. Once I left my books in the rain, so everyone who left their books out were beaten. I got a beating even after 10th grade from my mom (once). So yeah it didn’t bother me much. After what my parents have been through this year, I don’t think I ever want to be a parent, and its a scary thought to even be responsible for someone who may not give a damn about me and my efforts.

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Missing my parents

I miss my parents dearly. Sometimes when I see my siblings, still so young, and my brother just completed his teenage years, still a bit rebellious but showing bouts of maturity, I remember my teenage days. I must have been so difficult rebelling against my parents and fighting with my mom. When I look back I realize how silly it was to fight with them. I could have just been calm and had my way by only fighting the battles that mattered.

Over time my parents have changed a lot, which is really commendable at their age. And I miss them terribly. They have always been there for me, done so much for me. When I moved to the US, I was excited because I would be in this big country away from social stuff and new things to explore. I did not realize how much I would miss them. I was just happy to get away. Now its different. I yearn to meet them and spend time with them, and even 1 month is not enough. Its so easy to take parents for granted because they are always there. Sometimes I feel like shaking my siblings and telling them not to make the same mistakes…

I feel so lucky to have such incredibly sensitive, loving, fun-loving, and doting parents. They really live for their kids. Sometimes I tell them that they should focus more on themselves and live for themselves. They need to be selfish. My Dad is such a nice person; he never ever says anything bad to anyone or even thinks badly of anyone. My Mom loves us with such intensity and will do anything for us. I feel really really lucky.

I love the “large family” feel. My mom has a large family, so marriages have always been so much fun and LOUD!!! I love that. My mom brings so much spark to everything, and I hope she keeps that through thick and thin. Life has been a bit of a let down for her lately, and I feel so bad being so far away and not being able to do anything other than a phone call. I am deeply disappointed with God for having put my wonderful sweetest parents through so much. A part of me says that God does everything for one’s good, so there must be something good there. My parents are simple, God-fearing people; they deserve much better. I pray from the bottom of my heart that things work out well for them… they really really do deserve better.

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