It’s a patriarchal society. I worry about the space my boys will occupy. Will they learn to respect women? Do you parent or behave a certain way to teach boys respect? There aren’t many role models.
I grew up in a girls’ school and quickly learned that you always stand by your friends no matter what, you always stand by your girlfriends. The real world is different. I haven’t inspired that kind of loyalty in my current friends. It’s more prominent when you decide to become a primary caregiver. When a man achieves something, everyone around him praises him and asks, “aren’t you proud of him?” Everyone. Because there is a tangible. What is my tangible?
Motherhood is a thankless job. Kids don’t come with a manual. There is always something they will find wrong with your parenting. I am happy, don’t get me wrong. But I am unappreciated. Will anyone say, “thank you for taking care of the family so we could all pursue our dreams,” or will it be, “it was your choice, you didn’t have to stay home.” Don’t I deserve accolades for holding down the fort while someone else pursues his dreams? Will you do the same for my dreams?
A shrink says, “a man is attending therapy sessions, that in itself is an achievement.” Why does this apply to only men? Are they perpetuating this chauvinism since it is harder to change society? They say behind every successful man is a woman. Nobody believes or expresses that, it is just a saying to pacify feminists.
Is success only governed by money? Does happiness count? Sacrifice? Choice? I feel it more now. Even girlfriends treat you like secondary to the man. As someone said in a movie, “the very fact that you think your wife needs your permission, says it all.” What is my tangible?
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